My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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