i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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