It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
