Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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