I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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