If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
