That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
