It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
the liver wants what the liver wants
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
