I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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