he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize