Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
