'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize