4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm so fucking centered right now
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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