Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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