I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
