nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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