I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im six kinds of drunk right now
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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