Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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