No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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