I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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