I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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