I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
