i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
