oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
smell my finger.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
