On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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