do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
