Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
