I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
