No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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