Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
