he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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