you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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