been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
