i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
