Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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