her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
