Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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