i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
