Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
