I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize