Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
