Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
