I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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