You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
