So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
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