I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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