I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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