So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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