We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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