just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i think my cat just said my name.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
