SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
