My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
