I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
