She just used a chaser for red wine.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
