similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
