did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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