So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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