I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
