Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize