Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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