think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
In America we eat man semen.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
