I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
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No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
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And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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