im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize