But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
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we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
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Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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