just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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