i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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