things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
