Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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