just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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