if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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